21 January, 2011

Clover Grade Songs: Stripperized!

I know most of you have heard a song and been like “Yo, if I had a pole or a stripper-load-bearing grade chair, I can totes get down and duuurty with this song.” Or you simply have been searching for an amazing list of songs that are stereotypically pictured with a girl getting flossed with dolla dolla bills by a pole. I have been on such a quest before I am not ashamed to admit, as my cat wanted a more risqué birthday party theme this year. I am happy to announce I have put together the ultimate list of hoo-hoo shaking, and virtual air grinding songs both classic and modern, I even found some songs not normally used for ripping but I know you can make it work, you smooth operator, you.

I have spent too much time researching this, and scouring the depths of the internets to find you some legit songs to awkwardly perform in your mom’s spare room for your boyfriend. I should probably separate them into categories since most of you won’t know what’s going on here.

Ok let’s say 3 categories:

1) Classic Ripping – These are like stripper bibles, the go-tos for a classically known ripping feast for the eyes.

2) Modern Grindz – These are the songs that teen wieners are using as classics, songs that have come out in the past 10 years that you will hear on any 17 year olds V-Dub stereo.

3) Shiver Originals – Basically these are songs not known for Erotic novelty, however they have plenty of ripping potential weight.

Let the baby making begin. Biyaa!

Classic Ripping


• Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Lepard -


• Closer – Nine Inch Nails -


• You Can Leave Your Hat On – Joe Cocker -


• Sex Bomb – Tom Jones -
(Ok this goes in for comedic value mostly, check out Toms dancing)

• Feel Like Making Love – Bad Company -


• The Passenger – Iggy Pop -


Modern Grindz


• Birthday Sex – Jerimiah/whatever female sings in it -


• Sex and Candy – Marcy Playground -


• Poker Face – Lady GaGa -


• Poison – Alice Cooper (Modernish) -


• Crazy – Gnarls Barkley -



Shiver Originals


• Beast of Burden – Rolling Stones/ (second place goes to Bette Midler. Don’t laugh until you hear this bitch kill it) -
/


• Do You Love Me – The Contours -


• Back in Black – AC/DC -


• The Stroke – Billy Squier -


• Eric Clapton – Layla -


• Crimson and Clover – Tommy James and the Shondells/ (Also Joan Jett does a fucking badass version)
/
(<- Joan) • He’s a Dream – Shandi -

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