10 October, 2011

This is Why You Are Single - Internet Dating No Nos

This is my experience with some online dating sites. The examples you see below are actual examples from my account.

1)      No photo

2)      If a photo, bad, unflattering photo (wtf?)

3)      Constantly mentioning they never use online sites because they’re all stupid and people who use them are desperate

4)      Constantly bringing up they don’t know what to write to strangers

5)      In their introduction message they’re creepy: “I have never been with a woman before”

6)      Writing too much about how they are single and no one wants to give them a chance

7)      Making my profile unknowingly fit into a niche market IE: Nerds

8)      Pointing out the basics of my profile “so you’re blonde?”

9)      Asking me general boring questions to garner a response. “You work for a video game company, do you like video games?”

10)  The whole message says “hey”

11)  Do not call a woman “sexy” as a pronoun like it is her name, in a first message or ever

12)  The subject line of your message says “message me”

13)  If it looks like you’re wearing more bronzer than the cast of Jersey Shore, or goth makeup that looks like Gene from Kiss

14)  If your pictures are posed flexing muscles or making a douche bag face

15)  Showing off your terrible and ugly tattoos like it will impress someone

16)  Asking a personal or creepy question right off the bat like “did you wear braces” or “is your second toe longer than your big toe”, “I'm looking for my soul mate”

17)  Your message consists of one short sentence that is either wrongly construed or offensive: “you look funny” “you would be fun to mount”

18)  You message me and I ignore you, but you keep messaging me the same line over on different days like you are mass messaging women: “hey cutie how was your weekend”

19)  Sent a message arguing over my profile: “why do you put so much importance on post secondary education, all it makes is loans and debt!” or “I probably make more money than you and I'm a high school drop out! LOL”

20)  Blatant spelling mistakes a child would make: “chaseing”

21)  Using ‘u’ and ‘r’ as words in a message, or profanity: “Gawd Dam chica u r so fine”

22)  Lame pick up lines: “whats cooking good looking” and not even spelling what’s properly

23)  Douchebag screen names: “Sexgod” “ilove3ways” “playa69”

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