29 January, 2012

Welcome to Pinterest: What it is, How to Use it, and 5 Tips on Getting the Most Out of it.

 Seen on www.Levelsave.com and www.good-game-media.com

Chances are you’re up on social media if you are reading this article. You have grasped the basic concepts enough to know how to search blogs, and visit websites for news and information. It’s even possible that you know how to work a Facebook page, have a Twitter profile, and partake in social media on a whole. Good for you.

I consider myself somewhat of a social media gentlewoman, as I have partaken in numerous sites, fads, and I am generally in the know when it comes to the newest social sharing platforms. So when mention of a random thing called “Pinterest” (Rhymes with interest) began circling my social networks, I was baffled why I had not heard of it sooner.

It turns out it wasn’t just me; several of my technology and internet friends have also questioned what this website was, how it worked, and how on earth did it sneak by us all? Pinterest is comprised of visual bulletin boards, where you can find photos and blogs of things you like and “pin” them to your board, or find “pinners” who have already made boards and browse their finds instead. It’s essentially a social media network made up of photos, kind of like a profile of only Twit Pics. The photos represent anything from articles, how-to’s, tricks and tips, advice, recipes, do it yourself projects, crafts, and geek comics and humour. There is literally everything under the sun available, all shared by people just like you in an easy and visually organized format.

Time Magazine rated it one of the “50 Best websites of 2011” article, and in December 2011 it was rated one of the Top 10 Social Networks and it has only been around for a little less than 2 years. So how did I not know about it!

Signing Up
The first time I decided to try Pinterest I went to its website at www.Pinterest.com where I proceeded to make an account so I can start. Apparently the website is invite only, and there is a waiting list of one day to 1 week long to get your account. I then learned that current Pinterest users could send an invitation to my e-mail so I could sign up immediately, eliminating the hassle of waiting on the list. I got my invitation and started my account.

Getting Started
You are asked to log in with Facebook before you get started, this is super easy and makes registration a snap, you also have the option to disconnect from Facebook and alter any options through the Settings link in your account drop down menu. Once you’re set with an account, you’re asked to select boxes representing different topics you like: clothing, humour, animals, technology, geek culture, etc. You can pick as many or as few as you like, which will let Pinterest know what things you find the most interesting, so they can pick Pinners for you to follow based on your interests. You can unfollow these Pinners if you want at anytime as well, this gives you the option to browse the most recent things your followers have pinned.

You will then be asked to create your boards. It gives you 5 pre-named boards with a list of popular named boards on the right hand side. This can seem overwhelming; I recommend starting with as few boards as possible so you can get the hang of it without being bombarded with confusing boards. I started with 3 boards called: Funny, Clothing & Hair, and Tech & Geek. Don’t worry, you can edit the names of your boards as well as add and delete boards as you see fit.

You will see a screen with a “Pin it” button on it, this can be dragged into your bookmark bar or favourites so you can pin things while you browse your favourite websites. This allows you to pin photos, videos, and links to articles right from your browser into your Pinterest account!

How to Find Pins
You have 5 main areas of searching: Pinners You Follow, Everything, Videos, Popular, and Gifts.

Pinners You Follow – This is your default page. These showcase all the pinners Pinterest added to your account based on your interests when you first started.  Under each Pin (the photo) you can see who pinned it, what board of theirs they pinned it to, and the description or comment. You can also see who on your Facebook page has a Pinterest account, and follow them as well. You can do this by going to the right hand side of the screen and click on your profile photo, Find Friends, and you will see two options: Invite Friends (this allows you to invite people on your Facebook friends list to Pinterest) and Friends on Pinterest. Clicking Follow will put these friends into your Pinners You Follow feed so you can see what things they like!

Everything – You can click on this link to open up every individual category Pinterest has, anywhere from Home Décor to Kids and Technology. Doing this will filter all the pins to that category only, so if you’re really looking for some cool recipe ideas, you can search the Food and Drink boards of other pinners!
Videos – These are popular videos that people have posted. There is no search feature right now, but you can browse by looking at the descriptions underneath.

Popular – This is the unofficial best way to start pinning. The Popular board is where I suggest new pinners start; this is a page that holds the most popular and re-pinned items from everyone on Pinterest. New pins appear by the second, so refresh the page once you get to the bottom to see more brand new pins!

Gifts – These are pins that feature things you can buy; either by stores, or pinned by consumers who have found products they love. If you love to shop online, you can search by dollar amounts and leaf through all the cool gift ideas.

Each Pin gives you three options: Repin, Like, and Comment.

Like and Comment work the same as Facebook, while Repin lets you pin this image to your own board. Anything you like and want to add to your own collection you would repin. Once you click repin, a window appears and lets you select a board you have created, or make a new board. It also gives you the option to fill in a description, and add it to your Facebook wall or Twitter Timeline, if you have these hooked up through Settings in your profile. Click Pin and the image will automatically be put into the board you chose. You can view your boards anytime by clicking on your account photo on the top right hand side.

How to Take Full Advantage of the Wonders Inside Pinterest
  1. Make multiple boards
I told you earlier I started with 3 boards; those 3 boards blossomed into 6 then 9 then my current 12 board spread. I started with broad boards; each board featured several different categories which I quickly found very confusing. I began to separate the categories, making one per board, using specific names so other pinners could tell what was inside. The more specific the board the easier it is to classify and find pins you may have forgotten about, plus the more general the board the more cluttered it becomes very fast.
  1. Search  Every Category
I quickly noticed the Popular link was overrun with the same 3 or 4 topics, and with dozens to choose from it’s easy to forget they exist. I make a habit of searching the Popular page first, then going to the Everything link and clicking each category to let me see the most popular pins in that area which may not ever appear on the Popular page. You will find some awesome pins in these categories that may cater to your interests, as well as pins you might not otherwise have discovered or known you liked.
  1. Click the Pins
Each Pin isn’t just a photo or image; some are links to a blog or webpage with more or similar information and fun stuff. Most of the time the photo is taken from a website that offers instructions, photos, videos, or more of the same thing you may like. If you see something cool, click the image and it may show you how to make it, or how to do it. Who knows, the webpage may be something that you explore yourself!
  1. Edit the Category of Your Board
While each of your boards may have a name, you have to assign a category to each individual board, so that other pinners can easily search to find your cool finds. You can do this by clicking your profile photo and clicking Edit on each board, and selecting a category from the drop down menu to assign one to that board. This makes it easier for others to find, and keeps things organized!
  1. Link Your Social Media Accounts
The best part about Pinterest as a social media site, is sharing your pins and boards with others. I recommend following your Facebook friends on Pinterest, but did you know you can actually post your finds directly to your Facebook wall or Twitter feed? If you go to Settings and click Link to Twitter and Link to Facebook, you will then have the option to post to your social sites when you repin. This lets those who may not have an account know about the pin, as well as directing traffic to your account so they can check it out. You also have the option of hiding your profile from search engines, adding a personal website to your profile

22 January, 2012

Tell Me If This Sells You: Hunter Wellington Rain Boots - A Persuasive Tale

I was recently asked for some writing samples and a friend of mine suggested a persuasive piece that can sell someone on something random. If you can sell one brand over another, for a product that is not a living necessity, then you have done your job as a writer and as a marketing professional.

Creating a connection between the product and the consumer is the most important part, and as most marketing people will tell you, this can be the hardest part. How can you connect something as random and unimportant as a pair of rain boots - and not only that, but a specific brand - to a consumer to make them choose your product over dozens exactly like it for less?

You tell me.

Why Everyone Should Own a Pair of Hunter (Wellington) Rain Boots

Your alarm blares and seemingly echoes through your ear canal as you jolt awake; your face chilled by the air as your body is snug and warm inside your blankets and you mutter something about going to bed earlier. You hear the pitter patter of silken raindrops, watch them trickle down your bedroom windows and see them disappearing into the fog that gently rides on top of pavement outside like a cloud.

The scent of strong coffee and toasted, buttery, blueberry bagels wafts from your travel mug and container as you grab your briefcase with your free hand and head to the garage. The sound of the rain on your car – like an orchestra – serenades you as you drive to the train station and find the closest spot you can.
You pop your umbrella and start your walk to the platform. It’s mild for January, and the snow has turned the parking lot into a wading pool; water splashing up other traveler’s legs onto their crisp work pants and soaking through stockings.

But you have your Hunters. The walk to the platform could be 5 or 500 steps and your feet and pants remain dry and pristine. No backsplash up your leg, no water soaking through your shoes, and you never have to worry about sitting in wet socks again.

The genuine thick rubber soles make walking from the train station comfortable; cushioning your feet as you hit the pavement, trying to narrate yourself out of the hustle and bustle of rush hour commuters. The warm and cosy fleece liners allow for easy winter wear, leaving the slush and salt of January on the roads and not up the back of your legs. The liners keep your feet warm, while the rubber outer shell is 100% waterproof, making for a comfortable and easy walk to work.

Ruining shoes and boots with salt stains and winter muck is a thing of the past, now that you have your Hunter rain boots. Available in dozens of styles and colours, Hunter’s are versatile and easy to wear with everything and for anything. Slip them on to go to the mall, do some gardening, never miss out on walking your dog, and just hang out with the kids who love to splash around in the rain.

Practical for everyone, Hunter Wellington’s are ready for anything, affordable, wearable, and come in as classic or bold a style as you do.


21 January, 2012

4 Simple Rules to Understand Women

All you need to understand women: 

1) We don't need you to fix our problems, we just want you to say "I can't believe she said that to you, what a bitch" and move on

2) We like to know you think about us as much as we think about you. A text or message when you don't have time to chat goes a long way to say "I'm thinking about you too." 

3) If you hate Valentines Day or your birthday, don't assume we do. Even If you hate buying flowers, chances are we love it, so do it because we'd like them, not because you do 

4) Sometimes telling us we look beautiful for no reason out of the blue - without us asking - means everything in the world

18 January, 2012

Scumbag Jenn Meme

A year ago I ran into the meme Scumbag Steve who happened to actually find me on Twitter, and that was very interesting being hit on by a meme. You can read about this legit encounter here.

Introducing Scumbag Jenn

Scumbag Jenn Original

Mass Effect 3 - Features, Demo, and Release Date

Mass Effect 3 Release Date, Features, & Demo Announced

Amanda Murphy
 Also seen on Levelsave.com and Good Game Media

Mass Effect 3 is one of the year’s most anticipated games and the end of the Sci Fi/RPG trilogy. In fact, Mass Effect 3 took home Spike’s VGA Most Anticipated Game of 2012 and may very well earn Bioware another award to go along with their Game of the Year and RPG of the Year awards they’ve accrued since Mass Effect’s release on console in November of 2007.

Both Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 have lead to the impending invasion of earth by the Reapers. They have invaded earth in Mass Effect 3, and Commander Shepard must procure the galaxy’s safety for the last time in the ultimate showdown between good and evil.

New features

Bioware boasts several game changing features with their newest addition to their franchise, including improved graphics and animations, modifications to weapons and armour, a multiplayer mode and “Better with Kinect” voice control utility.

The Xbox 360 version of the game will team up with the Kinect using “Better with Kinect” letting players interact with their game using voice commands. This allows better functionality for communicating with other players and characters, giving commands, and selecting weapons or abilities in lieu of opening up a control panel and menu in-game.

Using the Kinect for voice integration admits a more seamless game play allowing for convenience and ease of use, much like the PC version in which players could use macro keyboard shortcuts to instruct and select weaponry without ever having to open up their game’s menu.

Another new feature is the creation of a brand new co-op multiplayer mode, to breathe longevity into the game as well as letting Mass Effect catch up to other industry favourites like Bungie’s Halo, who have already taken advantage of the multiplayer demand.

Multiplayer mode is available through console and PC versions, where players can battle to regain Reaper control from main territories throughout the missions. The ability to form squads, pick your race and class, and merge artillery and powers together with your teammates, ultimately alters the solo player campaign and the choices you can make.


Bioware has stated that they wanted the game’s soundtrack to play a big part in how the game is experienced by players, since music can directly affect how the player feels. The soundtrack is comprised of Golden Globe, Emmy, and notable movie and video game score composers, both new to the series and rejoining for the final battle. Composers include: Clint Mansell (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem for a Dream), Christopher Lennertz (Horrible Bosses, Mass Effect 2: Overlord, Mass Effect 2: Lair of the Shadow Broker, Metal of Honor), Cris Velasco (God of War series, Mss Effect 2: Kasumi, Mass Effect 2: Arrival), Sam Hulick (Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Bring Down the Sky, Mass Effect 2), and Sacha Dikiciyn (TRON: Evolution, Mass Effect 2: Kasumi, Mass Effect 2: Arrival).

Demo and Release

The demo set to be released February 14th is said to house about 1-2 hours of single player content, while it’s multiplayer portion offers 2 maps and will be active for players looking to get their cooperative hands dirty February 17th. The full version of the game available on Xbox 360, PS3, and PC is March 6th.


17 January, 2012

Quick and Handy Checklist to Internet Dating and Avoiding Weirdos

With the internet as a common catalyst for meeting people of all kinds and from all locations, it’s not uncommon that you may strike up a friendship with someone you’ve never met. This is specifically true in a lot of video games with an online component, like MMOS, multiplayer, or even on servers with others from different areas of the world.

I have had my bout in online relationships as well as know several friends who have met their partners through online games and means. In fact, some of my closest friends are people I met online; through community forums, Twitter, Facebook, friends of friends and even internet dating websites.

In today’s society of commuting more, working longer, and with more stress, meeting someone online is no longer seen as a social stigma but maybe even the new way to meet and cultivate relationships. Online dating and social networks have erased the taboo of meeting someone you’ve never met “in person”, and replaced it with the very possible idea that online forums will be seen as the new “traditional” method, with the term Community is in the process of being redefined.

This article is written to you as a loose guide for what to look for if you are new in the internet dating or community meeting realm, with the overall goal of the checklist being: Not to talk to or meet internet weirdos.

*At the end of this checklist, the goal is to not have any check marks.

1-3 check marks = He’s probably new at internet dating and doesn’t know the rules
4-6 check marks = Falls into “tsk tsk” category. It’s still possible he’s salvageable (not likely)
7+ check marks = More than likely a douche who you probably don’t want to reply to or message

  Does his screen-name fail the Mom test?

The Mom test is when you could show your mom his screen name, and have her not yell at you for several minutes while repeating “I’ll never be a grandmother!” Examples include but are not limited to: Sexy69, HornyMan, GreatKisser, GoodInBed, or LegsWideOpen

 Does he have only one picture in his profile?

One picture normally means he 1) Only has one picture that is not terrible 2) Never goes out socially to have his photo taken 3) Stole that photo from his friends Facebook page. Nobody can trust one photo. With one photo you may look awesome but in fact you may look like your dad was Shrek and your mom was Donkey.

 Are his photos taken with a grainy webcam only?

Again this shows social ineptitude. Why don’t you have photos with friends… unless you don’t have any? That or there are traces of narcissism lingering.

 Do his photos include any bare chest, pantless in a bathroom mirror, or flexing muscles?

This is worth 3 checkmarks. If someone is that insecure of their personality they resort to showing off physical and sexual attributes as a method of persuasion, it’s possible this person doesn’t have much to offer once the lights turn back on.

 Are there blatant spelling errors in his message or profile?

Nothing funny here. This either means he can’t spell or he didn’t take the time to proofread his work. How you present yourself is the basis of community, and is the connotation you create and carry with you. If you spell or use grammar incorrectly it’s a turn off.

 Does he use acronyms or extreme spelling shortcuts?

This includes any ghetto language, words like “bebe”, “fyne”, sexi” or “gurl u kno u be hawt”

 Is there mention of drugs and/or getting baked/stoned or high?

If it’s listed as his favourite pastime or things he enjoys doing it’s very possible that his priorities aren’t relationship material, or he’d rather get high than do anything productive. This goes for alcoholics, or those who spend their whole day off getting baked or drunk to “relax”. Next!

 Does he use asterisks or lorem ipsum to reach the profile character limit?

I can’t tell you how not classy this is to create a profile or have an account somewhere where you need to fill in about yourself with at least 50 words. So they fill the space with random symbols or stuff like: “ehofhe hfrqhr4u idaj’wseuurf” to get to 50 words. Dude, that’s literally 2 sentences, if you can’t think of 2 sentences about yourself then maybe dating isn’t your first problem.

 Does he call you Gorgeous, Babe, Sexy, or Cutie Pie as a pronoun or his entire message?

DOES NOT RESPECT YOU. That’s like me walking up to a guy at a bar being like “Hey sexy, you’re such a cutie pie” and then walking away. What is someone supposed to do with that? Don’t be sleazy, and don’t use adjectives as a pronoun. Plus it’s weird.

 Is this message consisting of “Hey what’s up?” or similar?

Did not put thought into their message, did not read your profile, and did not want to put effort into contacting you. These messages are the telemarketers of the internet dating world. They put the feelers out and see if you respond and if they do they swoop down, and if they don’t they classify you as non responsive.

 Has he contacted you more than once, with the same message used like spam?

This is the spam of the interwebs. This is when guys use the same messages, or similar messages to send to you over a period of time. Normally this is their blanket statement, which they cut and paste to hot girls in hopes of a response. This also means the guy has no recollection he’s contacted you before and doesn’t think you’ll remember or notice if he sends the same message out, because he mass-spammed everyone already. One time I got the same guy message me the exact same thing once a month for about 5 months on a forum (the profile tracked history of the user inside the chat).  No one wants to be that girl.

 Is fellatio mentioned in his list of “Likes”?

Why am I explaining to you why this is bad?

 Does he compliment you on your attractiveness and then say “Good Job”?


 Are his likes and dislikes empty because he claims he doesn’t know what to write?

Why are you telling us that? Take 5 minutes and write down that you like hockey, video games and beer, and at least pretend to have taken this seriously.

 Does he mention he doesn’t really need help finding a date but he’s on the site as a joke?

I have no idea the thought process behind this statement but I’ve got them as well as heard of others who have got the same kind of message. It’s a method guys/girls use to dissolve any responsibility or “lameness” that they are on this site. If you turn them down they’ll pretend it’s just for jokes anyway. Defence mechanism at its finest!

 Is his profile pretty much empty and his reasoning is “I don’t really go on sites like this, ask me if you have questions”?

Does not take it seriously, nor do they want to put any effort into actually thinking of anything to write down to describe themselves. Of course this could also mean that they don’t want to say the wrong thing or they’re afraid of saying something dumb or isolating themselves as weird or something somebody can laugh at.

Getting Ahead in the Word

LMAO just got an e-mail to CloverQuips from sex dating website looking for a link exchange, as it would benefit my "article subjects." Baha. On that note.... do I talk about sex that much that a sex website contacts me? 

Ohhhh Myyyy



My name is **************, I represent the adult dating sites **********.com
and http://www.********.com

We took a look at your site (http://www.cloverquips.com/) recently, and we are interested in a link

Our offer is actually quite interesting, a 3 way link as opposed to a
reciprocal link. You link to http://www.*******.com and we link to you on
***********.com. We offer the best type of link exchange.
Also, *********.com has a very nice directory that we have been
building so you are sure to find a category there for your site. If not,
please just make your suggestion to us.

Have a great week and I hope that we can do business with you in the very
near future.

SEO Analyst

16 January, 2012



It is a common word which is thrown around with many connotations and meanings. When I was a child I used to think my friend was the schoolyard playmate who would slide down the icy hill, or share their fruit snacks, or invite me to their birthday party.

When I entered high school a friend was someone who would lie to my parents when they called so I could go to the movies with a boy, or who would give me a gift card to my favourite store on my birthday, or who comforted me when that boy I went to the movies with started dating another girl instead.

A friend would know your phone number by heart, and call you often, picking you up in their new car or inviting you to their cottage with their family. Friends would come to your parties, be nice to you, and were someone to sit and eat with at the school cafeteria during lunch.

The concept of friend has been very volatile in my life. I’ve had many – lots – and some I still have, from most of the different eras of my life. I distinctly remember before I went to high school I wrote in my journal that although most times my friends were great – I hated some of them.

Maybe I was disturbed, or jaded, or unappreciative. That’s how I looked at it my whole life. My whole life I thought something was wrong with me because half of the time I absolutely hated a lot of my friends. I thought every friendship was supposed to have lies, secrets, backstabbing, cattiness, and general misery.
Maybe I was a masochist. Maybe I thought this was normal.

Granted I'm not a perfect child myself. I was spoiled just the same; I did whatever I could to come out first. I put myself ahead of everyone and I never thought anything of it because a lot of the company I kept did not warrant any effort on my behalf. I was rude, ungrateful, and I was terrible to some people. When doing these things, I convinced myself they would have done the same to me, and some of them did. Others didn’t, but for whatever reason I was unaffected by the hurt I caused others or the hurt done to me.

This made me stronger than I have ever been in my entire life. It made me a shark. I was impenetrable, unreadable; I put everyone else’s feelings and any consideration on the backburner if it gave me what I wanted. I was a brick wall, a robot… focused on being first and the best.

It got me ahead. I took risks, and I was bold. People jeered at my attitude but they were jealous. I let friendships slip and fade, and took people, relationships, and others for granted. I literally pushed everyone in my life away from me because I was so concerned with myself.

It wasn’t until my 20’s – maybe even later – that I realized I was broken inside, and that everything I knew about friends, everything I ever knew about how relationships with others worked was all a lie.

As I grew, graduated high school and went off to university and future careers, I had forged several relationships. Most of which were pleasant but shallow because I didn’t open myself up a lot of the time. As time went on, the person I knew started to change. I began to notice friendships had value, and the people I befriended genuinely cared about me. When things took turns for the worse (and it happened several times), I learned of an amazing thing that I never knew existed.

People, friends of all lengths and depth suddenly emerged out of the woodwork like animals emerging from the forest. Friends of all kinds were unexpectedly present when I needed them. Friends I hadn’t appreciated in the past, friends who I let our friendship fade, and people who were willing to be there for me and let me know that although I may have thought it, I was not alone.

New friends and old stood around me and helped me stand, listened, offered advice and kindness. This amazing new thing I learned was that this, these people, is what friendship is. These people are friends, and that real friends wouldn’t do these things I was so used to them doing. I began to realize that I was becoming a better person not having toxic people in my life, and I was able to form real, lasting friendships with people because I had no reason to mistrust them.

I can’t begin to tell you what an enormous weight was lifted from my shoulders knowing I wasn’t broken. Or what an overwhelming feeling of gratitude, love, and compassion I have for the people around me now. When acts of kindness are no longer met with the cringe of deceit to come, but instead are met with kindness returned.

I used to think I was broken; and maybe I was. These people have allowed me to be a better person, and have allowed me to see what I had been missing most of my life. The error of my ways and others is no longer there. And while my forceful and fighting attitude has definitely subsided (I mourn it some days), I can look at myself and see that I am on the road to being the person I want to be, and I am extremely lucky to have the people in my life who let me know that they value me, and whoever I end up becoming.

05 January, 2012

My Mom is Hip

I'm at home and my mom texts my Blackberry. Apparently she's supposed to be meeting two friends after work and she is waiting around for them.

Mom: Did anyone call for me?

Me: No!

Mom: Why am I the only one I know who texts and uses my cell?

Me: Because you’re hip

Mom: Yes I am! I'm waiting to see if they show

Me: When are you supposed to meet them?

Mom: They both said they would be here 5:30pm or 6pm. No one uses their damn cell phone!

Me: Who says “around 5:30 or 6pm?” It’s one or the other

Mom: Old people

Top 10 Video Game Characters I Would Love to Take Home

As seen at Good Game Media

10. Marth – Fire Emblem

Now I struggled a little with this one as I couldn’t decide between Marth and Roy (the Ginger), and now that I think about it a little harder I bet if I took either home it would be considered some kind of felony considering they look like they’re in grade 10. Although you have to admit men in uniform look better than stained beaters and old Crocs.

9. Sephiroth – Final Fantasy VII

Sometimes it’s good to be bad, and I bet Sephiroth is REAL bad – and all the girls love it (minus, you know, Aerith). You have to admit for a villain he certainly has his demonic tortured soul look down – complete with his fallen angel, one wing situation. Despite his kind of weird, Edward Scissor Hands hair style, his blonde hair, light eyes and uncanny androgynous bone structure screams: “I used to be a nice guy until I got hurt too many times.”

8. Venom – Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2

Ya, his teeth are kind of scary and his nails are like, well, daggers and you would probably want to stay away from any kind of kinky rough and tumble with him, but look at his body! Let me break it down for you; woman love bad boys. Especially bad boys who are in 5 times better shape than the hero. There is something to be said when Venom looks like he pumps iron every day while Peter Parker looks content with results from his weekly spin class gossiping about hair products and science. But really, if you need additional proof why I picked Venom - look at his tongue. Exactly.

7.  Dante – Devil May Cry 4

Dante is one of the ultimate anti-heroes, heroes who do good deeds for selfish reasons or cliché things like revenge. Sure he kills demons and saves the world but he doesn’t really give a shit about that, he just does it to avenge his dead mom and crazy brother. I like that. Plus I'm a sucker for light eyes, and while they may kind of have, er, luminescent-like qualities, they’re still blue and that counts. They also come in handy when you left your flashlight at the last demon-infested dark cavern, and you need to drunkenly open your front door at 3am.

6. Tidus – Final Fantasy X
tidus.jpg Tidus

Not going to lie, I always kind of had a crush on Tidus. The original Zanarkand beach bum, his blonde hair and blue eyes make women melt – after they question his sexuality. His clothing choice may not be much to look at aside from his hairless chest, but I'm sure after fiddling with the mass amount of clasps and buckles, those weird, convertible shorts will look better on my floor, amirite?

5. Ezio – Assassin’s Creed II

He may be super old and dead now, but when you play as Ezio you’re very aware “hey this guy does not look like a Mario Brother”. I don’t normally go for Italians but this is one I can really get behind (hiyooo). Technically you don’t see his full face but his sexy 5’O clock shadow, nice lips and olive skin leave me saying “oh my what big hand daggers you have.”

4. Commander Shepard – Mass Effect 3

While Shepard seems like a bit of an ass, well, actually he’s just an ass. Sadly a lot of women are attracted to men who treat others badly with a small glimmer of hope that maybe they will be looked fleetingly at by a hot man who defeated Saren. Yes he defeated evil, yes that kind of helps you out, so it’s natural to be attracted to this idiot. I didn’t say I wanted to sit down and have a chat about the state of politics in Citadel with him.

3. Chris Redfield – Resident Evil 5

Ok so he may be a little empty between the ears, that’s not the place I'm worried about. Chris looks like his father was a brick wall and his mother was a Semi, and they had a very broad, rippling, muscular child. Complete with bedroom eyes and perma-zombie-killing-scowl, Chris embodies the stereotypical man’s man that creates unrealistic stereotypes and mass inferiority complexes for men everywhere. Plus it looks like if you touch him you’d burn your fingers, but it would be worth it.

2. Nathan Drake – Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

HELLO Nathan Drake. He looks like a cross between Gerard Butler (HELLO), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (HELLO) and David Boreanaz (meh). Gritty, adventuresome, Drake must have a million stories to woo women with on a first encounter. Designed as the ‘every-man’, Drake represents a down to earth, realistic man who is not overly Sterioded up (I'm looking at you Chris), and not super flawless - as he stumbles around sometimes like how I am when I drink Jager. Drake is the kind of guy you would find at your grocery store, buying lots of ham and whatever else was on sale - items that would not make you believe he fancies expensive cheeses and owns a yacht. This normality is something women crave, and is why he is #2.

1. Link – Twilight Princess

Anyone who knows me knows that this is an obvious answer. Clearly nobody else would be in my top #1. I understand link is 17 and I would be arrested, but I’d like to think in Twilight princess he’s at least 18, preferably 26 as he lives on his own….in a tree. Link is the epitome of a hero: he’s got selfless reasons for doing things, he risks his life to save others, he never once complains, and he’s satisfied with the same tired excuse to rescue the same girl who isn’t giving it up. Link’s face is cute in a perfect Elvish way, and his earrings make him a little more badass… what? I like guys who are pierced. Again, he’s blonde and blue eyed, and I don’t even mind that his hair is better than mine. While he’s not super huge, he can still lift and carry a metal shield and sword; and you know he’s got to be accurate with his hookshot.

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